I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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