I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
