all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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