i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize