Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
