There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
