if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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