I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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