all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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