I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
