How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
