I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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