so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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