hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
