we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dick very happy bro
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
