Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
vagina is talking i cant
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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