But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
