I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up under a house in Key West
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