i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
