Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
