she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
