As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
