We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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