you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
