forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just cropdusted the office
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
