i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
