my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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