ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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