Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
