There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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