My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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