Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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