I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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