dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
