Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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