but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
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I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
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As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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