both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Still dying that you shit outside
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
