I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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