When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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