YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
