I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize