I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
