rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
