So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
