So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
