dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Do vagina's smell?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We left an ass print on the piano.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
