is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
