I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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