I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We don't watch enough power rangers
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
