yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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