DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
