"it" just moved
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize