After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
