and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Randomize