Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
