check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
