you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize