Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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