Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
