Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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