Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
