Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
