Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Who died my cat blue again?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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