soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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