I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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