Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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