I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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