this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
