Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
