he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
